A few days ago one of my creative heroes left us.
It's not a thing that happens often, but it is a thing that you feel acutely as a voice you once looked to for wisdom and inspiration is suddenly no longer there. It made me think about my creative output and how scatter shot it had been over the past decade. Why was it like that? I have no shortage of ideas, in fact I'm pretty sure I have too many. This blog for example had been languishing for half a decade? Just sitting on the internet full of old posts that I frankly found embarassing so I ended up unpublishing... How did I get here?
I knew and loved David Lynch's work before I knew who he was. I was 7 or 8 when I saw Dune in a movie theatre, my Mother was a huge fan of the novels and took me along. (This was a common theme in my childhood, seeing films that I probably wouldn't have been allowed to see if my parents were not deeply part of 1970s counterculture) I loved Dune, it became a home video favorite and spurred me to read all of Herbert's novels for better or for worse. Twin Peaks aired for the first time in Australia in 1991 and initially I didn't realise the same artist was responsible. It was a pop culture sensation, everyone watched it and talked about it. It was big time TV, and hey isn't that Kyle Maclachlan from Dune and the Hidden (1987)? Oh and Jack Nance? He played minor Harkonan goon Nefud who was addicted to Semuta which was why he is in that scene with the Baron playing with that strange box that sounds like twisted untuned violin strings. (Semuta music, an atonal music that activates the intoxican of the Semuta drug he was adicted to) OH WAIT IT'S THE SAME DIRECTOR AND THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED DONNA'S PIANIST SISTER PLAYED ALIA IN DUNE?
Something was up.
I realised that one artist was behind both these works that I had enjoyed so much so immediately went out to find more. That was tough in the home video era, Blue Velvet was available, Dune of course, and if you looked really hard you could find the Elephant man or the European version of the Twin Peaks pilot. (The one with an ending and everything) The holy grail was Eraserhead, no video release, no streaming services or internet where you could get it. All I had was stills, references in books about Lynch or Twin Peaks, a vague synopsis. That was until 1993, when Lynch's debut feature was rereleased and I finally got that chance to put that missing piece into place.
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| Me post seeing Eraserhead in a theatre as a teenager |
Not be be hyperbolic but the Saturday afternoon where I visted the Valhalla Cinema and saw Eraserhead was one of the best days of my life. It was a breezy late spring turning to summer day, the kind Melbourne does well when it gets its ass in gear. Sunny but cool, the Cinema was almost empty and I had a great seat in the back under the balcony. A shadowy hidden spot with an amazing view of what I was about to see. There couldn't have been a better place to see it, or a better time. I left the cinema dumb struck by what I had seen, walking past posters for "The Valley", "Steppenwolf" and the monthly screening of "The Blues Brothers" that had made the Val famous as an arthouse independent cinema. I caught the tram back to the city and bumped into a friend who was about to change schools in the new year. We talked for a long time on the train and the walk back from the station, it was lovely. My mind had been rearranged and the darkness of Lynch's debut brought the lightness and joy of that day into a sharp relief. Blue skies and sunshine all along the way.
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| The Valhalla (now Westgarth) Cinema |
That day was very important to me, and it cemeted Lynch in place as an artist who is increadibly important to my creative journey. The next year I went from being kind of a directionless nerd into photography and a degree in fine arts. It drew me towards creativity, a path I have not always stuck to but one that I always return to.
The aftermath of David Lynch's passing has been an outpouring to grief and admiration from all over the world. A memorial at Bob's Big Boy in Los Angeles and many people postulating about how we can honor him. "Be more weird", "Create surreal stuff" is what I have seen online, and I don't either is the right lession to take from this man's increadible creative output.
The lession I feel is to create, and to create without fear. Without fear of the audience, of theory, of finance or of the self. My creative output has been scattershot over the past decade. I honestly have been afraid. Afraid of my own internal critic, afraid people won't get it, people won't like it, that the work will be overlooked. What I take from my hero's passing is that I need to heed his lession.
I need to start creating without fear.
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| The memorial |
As a postscript, I am bring the old blog back. It is likely to be most tabletop roleplaying focused with some media and stuff sprinkled in. A lot of people last year were encouraging more people to get into the ttrpg blogging scene, and it was an idea that was rolling around in my head. In typical AHDH-probable brainspace I couldn't decide on what platform to use so any attempt to start one ended up in me just trying to get past that. Events nudged me to do *something* and I had this space already setup. I hope to get some proper on topic posts up soon but David Lynch's passing was something so important to me that I need to get this out first. Thank you and I hope your comeback when I've written some more stuff.
Till then -
